Here are the horrors recounted firsthand...

description of the recent WOODPUSSY/SEEMEN show

by our own beloved Chuckles the Klown/Mermaid

"I FEEL WET. IS IT WET IN HERE? DOES ANYONE ELSE FEEL WET?"

pronouncedQueen Neptuna (a.k.a. "Killer") loudly , as she strolled into

the underseanautical scene that was the Woodpussy/Seemen show at Moguls

last Saturdaynight. Resplendent in a sealime green sequined gown,

tiara, and goldeneyelashes fluttering over a green face, Queen Neptuna

looked...intoxicating.Somewhere on the edge of a stage, I , Chuckles the

Mermaid, did the fish tailgrind with a foul mouthed sailor from the east

coast of our country, Dr. DuckyDoolittle. I swam amidst diving

Woodpussies in too tight thrift store grandmaswimsuits, scuba masks,

snorkels, bathing caps. Colored seaweed strands ofred, pink, and green

hung above me, and would violently slap against me whenWampus pulled a

rope. I whispered into the ear of a mermaid made fuck doll,and handed

her to Rich Polysorbate, who kissed her passionately. A treasurechest,

inflatable sharks, (which i sucked on) octopi and gonopods...back to

meand the sailor. Queenie had made me green, and my face sparkly and

blue, andLiz had created my perfect scales and seashell bra."Hey you

stupid fish! I'mgonna fry your tail. I'm gonna shove my tongue in your

gills," the sailortried to resist me....King Neptune sang "She's so

fishyyyyy"(same tune as"she's so heavy"...) and my sailor was lured into

the ocean. She put a pieceof sushi in her mouth and shoved it at me. I

sucked the pink fish into myown, then shoved it and my tongue back into

her mouth. Soon we were KiSSiNG!(foul mouth nothin! Hers were

swweeeeetskilledkissssses).. and fish wassoiling her sexy naval

uniform. Earlier upon arrival we were told that therecould be NO NUDITY

OR SIMULATED SEX due to possible club shut downing, andsome incident

involving incredibly strange wrestling the week before. well,my

seashells and tail stayed on, but what not many knew was that my

dirtysailor was wearing vibrating panties, and i held the control!

black pantieswith a special purple vibrating vibro egg, with a remote

that came up betweenducky's splendiferous cleavage and into my hands,

her panties felt deliciousagainst my fishinghole, but who won? The

SAILOR did! up against my ass!!coompletely happy!! that beats

simulated nudity ANYday!woooohoooooo!!!!!!~!!!!! Then I was handed a

big white package, which icarefully unwrapped, and stared down into the

red eyes of many largermackerels (and remembered a comment earlier in

the evening of, "did you putthe fish in the refrigerator?"

"Nooooo!"....(but they WERE put in thefreezer)..) Happy as a girl with

her first oyster doll, i shoved partiallyfrozen fish down my throat like

CoCK. I slurped and sucked. Woodpussiesplayed "Moonage Daydream" and i

sang along using fish as a microphone. Irubbed fish all over me. I

stuck my fingers in fish bellies and pulledout..stuff. i jammed fish

halves onto the claws of the lobster attached tothe mike stand. I pried

open a fish mouth and stuck my tongue into that, too,and felt sharp

little fish teeth. Rich had made sure to throw the rest of thefish into

the audience, so it was time to kiss more sailors. MORE

SAILORS!!Oklahoma Daddy(a.k.a. Josh) kissed me, Michelle kissed me,

Greg kissed me, (we are referring to tongue) , then I shoved my tongue

into King Neptune'smouth, and, much to my joy, he made a classic puke

face of puffed out cheeks,green, fingers to lips as in "Oops!" Real MAD

magazine. I thought it was haha funny act, so i began chasing him about

the stage, licking him wherever icould, mostly on the face. He retched

and made the pukeface more, and it wasjust too real, that's when i

thought,"Maybe it's real". OOOhhh! Sure enough,King Neptune puked

underwater by the drumset...Queen Neptuna shoved her tongue down my

throat after the show in one of thesexiest kisses alive, and we all went

to Jumbo's STINKING of fish, with thedrs. Gunter and Mel Practice,

there saw a girl set her pussy on fire, and weall lived happily ever

after the end.